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i guess i did write for youi want to write for you
but my thoughts are not poetic right now.
i am still just thinking about what you said
and how you feel
and how hard it is for you
and how hard it is for me.
i am tired.
i spent an hour shaking
my stomach churning
my shoulders tight and my brows furrowed,
wondering if we would turn out okay.
then you began to cry
so i cried too.
i cried for the agony you are in
and how i cannot stop it
and you cannot stop it
and that there is nothing to blame except evolution
i cried because i hate that you suffer
and you want to die.
my therapist asked me what it is like
for me to want so much to live
and to be with someone who sometimes wants to die.
i wish you never felt that way.
i wish i could lift this curse you are under.
i wish i could help you more
and that i wouldn't make things worse instead.
i wish i aways knew how to help
and more importantly, be able to execute that help.
i wish i wasn't so afraid all the time
but that is my own curse.
this thing whic
dreamsgoing to sleep is taking a chance;
there is always a risk,
for you know not what you will dream.
you may dream of pleasantries.
you may go on adventures, do things you could never do,
love lovers you have never had, go to your favorite places.
you may dream of demons.
nightmares may send you running
and leave you with this
you may wake shaking, sweating,
unable to get the visons out of your head,
the picture is still there when you close your eyes.
you must completely wake to escape it,
but even then the fear follows.
suddenly every little creak and tap and brush
is the sound of monsters coming for you.
you suffer for a while until you finally calm yourself
deathMost teenagers think
"It won't happen to me."
That's why they drink and drive
and skateboard off rooftops
and leave their doors unlocked.
But I think
"Why wouldn't it happen to me?"
Why should I be spared?
Why shouldn't death come for me?
Death had taken children from mothers
and mothers from children.
Death has taken best friends and brothers.
Death has taken presidents and doctors.
Death will take us all
and it doesn't care who you are
or how old you are
or how nice your are
or how many people love you.
Death doesn't care if you just had a baby
of if you are about to go travel the world.
The only thing you can do
is try to lessen your chances
for no one is safe.
You can protect yourself
by avoiding dangerous situations
but that is hard.
It's hard to live when you can't ride in a car.
It's hard to live when you can't leave your home
or light the gas stove
or touch door knobs
Fearing death for others is even harder.
For you want to lock them up in a room
and watch them
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More